Save Me
by WeirdsBestFriend
Summary: Each chapter has Gaara on a sudden mental break-down with some of the dialogue loosely based on some songs. Can you guess the song I used? : NOT A SONG-FIC!
1. Bring Me To Life

**Based on the NARUTO series, it takes place during the chunin exams-the night that the fight happened ( Gaara VS Lee )**

**Disclaimer: See prfolie for the Anime Disclaimer**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the song! If I did I wouldn't be on fanfiction and would be probably making more songs sheesh peeps..(: lol**

* * *

Gaara walked slowly down the hall of the hotel that they were currently staying in sice they were in the leaf. Gaara read the numbers on the wall.

B234...B236...B238...B240. That was the one he wanted.

Most would think that Gaara wanted to go in this room for blood. For his constant blood lust. For his never ending want for more and more blood.

That wasn't why.

Gaara had sat in his own room for a while that night and found out something through his never ending thinking inside his head. He figured out that he had become the on thing he had never wanted to become. The monster. He had become the exact thing he feared when he was little. When he thought this, his eyes had snapped open and he had started to breath shakily.

Because he was having a flashback? No. Because he was scared to think it? No. Because he knew it was true.

Gaara stood outside the door and put his hand on the handle. Was he supposed to knock? He didn't know. he had never approached someone before. The last time he did was at that one girls house..when he was bringing her medicine... it didn't turn out so well. He thought that if he made the way he approached the person he wanted this time...it would turn out differently.

He pulled the handle down and opened it up and stepped inside. The lights were on and he looked around. He found the person he was looking for, in bed with a magazine.

Temari.

" G-Gaara? " She asked shakily a little frightened at his intrusion.

" Nh. " He responded and nodded his head once.

He put a hand on his arm and took a step closer. Was he doing this right?

" Is something wrong? " temari asked calming down a bit.

" I.." Gaara started.

" Are you okay? " Temari asked as she sat up and swung her legs across the bed and sat up.

" I've become...so numb. " Gaara answered her.

" What? " Temari asked.

" I don't have a soul. " Gaara told her with tears just stirring right inside his eyes, but they didn't leak. Not just yet.

Temari patted a spot next to her and he took that offer as a gesture to sit down next to her. He look at the spot cautiously and then sat donw next to her.

" T-Temari? " Gaara asked in a little bit of a little boy voice. It sounded so harmless...so...vulnerable.

" Hm? " She asked and looked at him.

" Save me from the dark. " He replied in a sad voice.

" Gaara.. "

" Save me from the nothing I've become! " Gaara pleaded and then something happened that hadn't happened for a long time.

The tears spilt.

Gaara's arms wrapped around his older sister as he put his head on her side and he clutched her tightly. Never wanting to let go.

" I will Gaara.."

" Wake me up inside! "

" I will.."

" Im frozen inside. "

" All of this time I can't believe I couldn't see, you were kept in the dark but you were there in front of me! "

" I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems! I have to open my eyes to everything! I'm turning into a monster! "

" Without a thought, without a voice, without a soul. "

" Don't let me die here! Save me from the dark Temari.."

" I will.. "

Temari wrapped her arms around her little brother and could hardly believe what just happened.

**Aww..poor Gaara sees that he is becoming a monster! Temari must save him! lol! I hope you liked this little song-fic! If you review I might make a 2nd chap with a new song with Gaara. (: Thanks and REVIEW! (: **


	2. Savin' Me

**Based on the NARUTO series.**

**Disclaimer: See prfolie for the Anime Disclaimer**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the song! If I did I wouldn't be on fanfiction and would be probably making more songs sheesh peeps..(: lol**

**

* * *

**

_**!!!!!!!!!This Chapter has nothing to do with the last Chapter. If it does have anything to do with the last Chapter, then I will put so up here in this box. (: Thanks!!!!!!!**_

**

* * *

**

**Gaara's P.O.V**

I sat in my room and listened to the wind past my window. In my room there was nothing. It was completley bare except for the large, soft, red carpet that lay on my floor. At night I would sit on this. I would sit on it and think. When the sun rised, I stood up and went and got something to drink, then I would make my way to Baki sensei's house. For training. My siblings would come there a little later.

Right now. It was night. I was thinking. I was thinking about myself for once. I needed a new topic to think about for once. I had never thought about myself. How I am.

I was a monster.

That much I knew. That much I hated. That much was what was killing me inside my head. Then I thought something that I had never thought before.

_' I need someone to help me. ' _

I was angered now. Why would I need help!? Why would I need someone to help me!? Why did I think that?...

_' Oh I reach for you.' _

WHO!?

" Who are you talking about?.." I asked in a deadly voice, even though I already knew the answer.

_' These iron bars can't hold my soul in. ' _

I knew that... because I had no soul...not anymore...\

'_All I need is you! ' _

I know.. I KNOW! Shut up already!

_' Come please I'm callin'....' _

" Temari...Kankuro...Baki....Sakura.....Naruto...." I needed all of them or at least just one of them.

'_ Oh I scream for you '_

I stood up and stumbled to the door, down the hall, and made the sand lift me out of the house and then on top of it.

I let the sand disappear as I used my hand and one knee to stand up. I looked at the long fall. The whole place began to spin.

_'...Please...HELP...M-'_

" ME!!! " I scream finally. I let my thoughts become words..

_' These city walls ain't got no love for me..I'm on the ledge of the third story and oh I scream for you...Come please I'm callin'..and all I need from you..I'm fallin'...I'm fallin..' _

_" HELP ME! " _

* * *

**No one's P.O.V**

Temari jolted up out of bed as she heard foot-steps out in the hall. She quickly jumped out of bed and bolted for the door as she snapped it open. She met Kankuro out in the hall.

" Did...Did you hear that too? " Kankuro asked a little confused.

" Yeah.." Temari answered and squinted in the darkness.

She stuck her head out the window and looked around. Then she turned her head up and saw him... about to jump.

" GAARA! "

* * *

**Gaara's P.O.V**

The sand would catch me anyway. I just knew that if I jumped... I guess I just..... I just wished that the sand wouldn't catch me. That's exactly what I deserved.

" Don't save me.." I whispered under my breath.

" GAARA! " Temari screamed at me.

" T-Temari? " I whispered but then it was too late I had already stepped off.

" Hurry.. I'm fallin... " I whispered. " I'M FALLIN! TEMARI! " I screamed.

I closed my eyes and breathed out. I kept reminding myself that I deserved it. Deserved it.. DOn't save me sand... don't save me! I deserv-...

I felt his arms. He had caught me. The sand probably would have caught me anyways. No matter how hard I told it not to. The Shukaku wouldn't listen to my commands. S why had he caught me?

" K-Kankuro? The sand would have.." I mummbled.

" I would have rather caught you myself...The sand isn't your big brother.. I am. " Kankuro told me.

" I'm still falin'.." I told him.

" I know you are. " He said back to me as Temari came running over.

" Teach me wrong from right. And I show what I can be.." I told both of them.

" Gaara.." Temari whispered.

" Say it to me, say it for me, and I'll leave this old life behind me, say it if it's worth savin' me! " I screamed with my eyes closed.

" I'll say it buddy.. " Kankuro whispered.

" Heavens gates wont open up for me.." I whispered.

" Yes they will. " Kankuro told me.

" All I need is you.." I whispered one final time.

" Were here.." Temari whispered.

The kazekage came out of the house with a glare on his.

" What's going on? " He asked aggervated.

" This doesn't concern you father. " Temari shot back.

There father huffed and went inside.

* * *

**IMPORTANT! Every time I post a new chapter, I will put the name of the song from the last chapter as the title. ALSO I do not put the song's lyrics in order a lot and I also add some stuff into the lyrics and diaglouge sooo.... yeah! Guess the song from this chap! (: PLEASE REVIEW! Any requests to songs are OPEN! (: **


	3. Animal I Have Become

Based on the NARUTO series.

**Disclaimer: See prfolie for the Anime Disclaimer**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the song! If I did I wouldn't be on fanfiction and would be probably making more songs sheesh peeps..(: lol**

**

* * *

**

_**!!!!!!!!!This Chapter has nothing to do with the last Chapter. If it does have anything to do with the last Chapter, then I will put so up here in this box. (: Thanks!!!!!!!**_

**

* * *

**

Gaara sat on the roof stop looking at the stars with the occasonial sound of peoples foot-step passing by. There wasn't many people out at this time of night though. Usually only him. He wasn't a loud to sleep or the Shukaku would come out.

_' Sleep boy..sleep..' _The shukaku would whisper in his head all night.

" I can't escape this hell.."

_' Just sleep... I wont hurt **too **many people. I promise boy, I prmoise. I just need to stretch my legs a little..' _

" So many times I've tried. "

_' I know you have boy.. I'm the only one who understands you..' _

" I'm still caged inside. Somebody get me through this nightmare.."

_' I will... I will boy.." _

" Your exactly the problem... "

_' No..not I.... I am the answer... give in to me again.. remember when you would feed me blood so often? So often you did! That Naruto..he had good blood! So rich! Feed his to me again! ' _

" No. he is my friend. "

_' Remeber when **I **was your only friend!? What happened to that boy! I'm stuck with you forever. You might as well give in right? ' _

" I can't control myself! "

_' That's why you must give in! Give in boy! There is no point in controling yourself! You can't control yourself, not with me inside! No matter what you do, you will hear me.. I will talk to you... I will be your friend..forever. ' _

" No! "

A passing person's foot-steps suddenly stopped and looked up at the building. Gaara noticed this and looked over the edge.

" Oh no..Gaara! " The man yelled and backed away.

" I wont HURT YOU... " Gaara said in an angry voice and raised it slightly and made it rougher towards the end. He was just so angry..

The man's eyes went from scared to terrified and ran away screaming.

" You see what you do Shukaku! "

_' It's not just **ME **boy, I am a **part** of **you** which makes this all **your** fault too...Just give in..Give in... GIVE IN...**GIVE**...**IN! **' _

" AHHHH!!!!" Gaara screamed and clutched his head. " I wont! No.."

His eyes turned into that bright horrible green with black slits.. his skin began to turn to a leather like texture.

" Gaara!? Gaara where are you!? It's almost four A.M! It's time for early training today! Remember!? You don't sleep anyway! Where are you!? " Baki screamed from down below.

" Ah..AHHHH!!!!" Gaara screamed even louder.

Baki looked up onto the roof top as the sun began to rise behind the now transforming Gaara.

" Gaara! " Baki screamed and ran up to the top of the roof, he crouched down beside Gaara and put a hand on his shoulder.

" So what if you can see the darkest side of me!? " Gaara screamed but really it almost all demon talk by now, only a few sentences would be Gaara's.

" Calm yourself Gaara! Don't give in! Fight back! "

" No one will ever change this animal I have become! This is the real me! "

" No Gaara! Don't listen to what he tells you! Fight back.. FIGHT BACK! "

" Help me believe..it's not the real me! "

" I will once you FIGHT BACK! "

Gaara groaned a little and then let out a long scream. His skin went back to normal slowly and his eyes changed back to their beautiful light blue again.

" Gaara? " Baki asked once Gaara had become still.

" Somebody help me tame this animal.."

" I'm your sensei Gaara.. I'll help you... don't worry. I'll make sure to do what your father wont....help"

" I can't escape myself..So many times I've lied.."

" Don't worry.."

" I fought Naruto.. I let the Shukaku out even.. but there still rage inside.."

" You have more rage then anyone else I know.. We'll have to find a way to get most of it out... I WILL find a way.. don't worry about that.. You have a good reason to have so much rage.."

" Get me through this nightmare... I still can't control myself Baki.."

" It'll be hard.. but that's why we train. Your tough Gaara.. you'll be able to learn quickly I know that. "

" No one will change this animal I have become.."

" Yes you will... Yes I will.... we both will..."

" Help me believe it's not the real me.."

" That inside you is just a demon Gaara! It's not you! It's a creature sealed inside your body! "

" No! It's a demon that _uses _**ME** as **it's** body... it's way of moving.."

" That's a lie! "

" No it's the truth.."

_' That's right..give in to me once again boy...I will be your friend..' _

" I'm an animal... a demon.."

" No..your not..you are Gaara, ninja of the sand. "

* * *

**IMPORTANT! Every time I post a new chapter, I will put the name of the song from the last chapter as the title. ALSO I do not put the song's lyrics in order a lot and I also add some stuff into the lyrics and diaglouge sooo.... yeah! Guess the song from this chap! (: PLEASE REVIEW! Any requests to songs are OPEN! (:**


	4. Numb

Based on the NARUTO series.

**Disclaimer: See prfolie for the Anime Disclaimer**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the song! If I did I wouldn't be on fanfiction and would be probably making more songs sheesh peeps..(: lol**

**

* * *

**

_**!!!!!!!!!This Chapter has nothing to do with the last Chapter. If it does have anything to do with the last Chapter, then I will put so up here in this box. (: Thanks!!!!!!!**_

**

* * *

**

" Was this why I made you who you are!? NO GAARA! It is not! I made you like this to be the ultimate-" His father also know as the Kazekage yelled at a twelve yeard old Gaara.

Temari and Kankuro stayed quiet but listened as they sat on the couch that was only about four feet away from the fight. Gaara hadn't said a word through the entire fight. All he did was look at the floor. But now. Now, Gaara said something.

" Tool? A tool for the sand!? You made me a monster for no other reason then for yourself. " Gaara told him that cold voice that he liked to use at times. " I'm tired of being what you want me to be"

" You demon! "

" I don't know what you expecting of me.."

" To listen to me! To do what I say! "

Every step that I take is just another mistake to you. "

" Because every step you take _**IS**_ another mistake! Can't you do anything right for once!? "

" I'm so numb.. I'm so tired..."

" Making excuses never got any one any where! "

" I'm becoming this, and all I want to do is become more like me and less like-"

" Less like what!? A MONSTER!? "

" You, but monster could be another name for it. "

His father tried to slap him but the sand quickly protected him.

" Did you make the wrong decision of putting Shukaku in me? Do you wish you could punish me now? "

" You worthless brat! "

" I'm afraid to loose control... but not on you. "

" I made you! "

" I wish you hadn't. Everything you thought I would be has come has fallen apart right in front you. "

" That's why I tried to kill you, but what did you do!? You killed another soul! You DEMON! You killed your own uncle. "

" YOU killed him. YOU killed mother. "

" Your mother was a saint! YOU are a demon! A sand demon! "

" You made me though didn't you? and what was the sacrifice? "

" I wish you were dead. "

" And so does more then half of this village, one more person doesn't count to me. Especially not you. "

" You are worthless to me! I'm not your father. "

" Every second I waste is more then I can take..I've become so numb I can't feel you there.."

" You can't feel me here? You would if that Shukaku wasn't in you I guarntee that! My fist would connect with your face so easily.."

" I do thank you for only one thing, now that I have SHukaku, I've become so much more aware. I always have to make sure that you didn't send someone else to kill me. ANother sacrifice to the Shukaku right? "

" All I wanted was for you become the greatest ninja this village has ever had! Become the ultimate ninja."

" And I know I may end up failing too. "

" No. You WILL end up failing. "

" I'm tried of being what you want me to be.."

" What do YOU want to be then? "

Gaara thought for a moment and then looked at his father. He could kill the man. But he didn't, he had changed since the battle with Naruto. he would just make his father really mad.

" I want to be Gaara. The ninja with no father. "

" You piece of C-"

Gaara left the room with his gourd on his back. He would just go to Baki's house and train. No need to stay there.

* * *

IMPORTANT! Every time I post a new chapter, I will put the name of the song from the last chapter as the title. ALSO I do not put the song's lyrics in order a lot and I also add some stuff into the lyrics and diaglouge sooo.... yeah! Guess the song from this chap! (: PLEASE REVIEW! Any requests to songs are OPEN! (:


	5. How Could This Happen To Me?

Based on the NARUTO series.

**Disclaimer: See prfolie for the Anime Disclaimer**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the song! If I did I wouldn't be on fanfiction and would be probably making more songs and makin' money sheesh peeps..(: lol**

**I DIDN'T MAKE PROFIT OFF THIS FIC!**

**

* * *

**

!!!!!!!!!This Chapter has nothing to do with the last Chapter. If it does have anything to do with the last Chapter, then I will put so up here in this box. (: Thanks!!!!!!!

**_

* * *

  
_**

** Gaara's P.O.V**

I open my eyes but I'm blinded by the white light. I can't remember what happened. I can't remember how any of this happened. All I know is that I can't stand the pain. I can't even make it go away.

How could this happen to me?

I cough once and sit up and open my eyes a little wider. I now I can see. It's dark though. It's all so dark. I feel the sand beneath me and I know I'm outside. What Happened?

I've made my mistakes.. I've payed my dues. What's going on? I look around and can't figure out what's happening.

I don't even have anywhere to run. The night goes on and I'm just fading away. How could this happen to me?

I walk a little. I was limping though. I limp farther and farther until I see what was going on. There was people everywhere. They were cin a circle too. What was happening. I get to the front to see what they are circled around. I made my way to the front of the crowd to get a look at what they were circled around.

No one even noticed me at all since they were all engrossed in looking at whatever was in the middle. Everbody's screaming. But not at me or because of me for once.I finally pushed myself up all the way to the front. I tried to make a sound but no one hears. I screamed.

It was a dead body. But not just anyone's dead body. Yashamaru's.

I ran as far away as I could, things being thrown at me by locals were absorbed by or slid off of the sand shield. I kept running. I ran up a little sand slope, tripping a few times until I got to the top. It was so dark though. I didn't see the edge. I was slipping of the edge, hanging by a thread. I just wanted to start all over again.

I screamed and tried to pull myself up. No matter what I did though, I knew I would always hang by a thread. Always. I would always be slipping off the edge, no matter how ground bound I may ever be, I will always be slipping. But I still try to hold. I hold onto that cliff.

And I try to hold on to a time, when nothing even mattered. I can't explain what happened. And I can't erase the things that I've done.

" No. I can't. "

I let go of the cliff.

" HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO ME!? " I scream as I fall through the air.

Then..all the sudden. I find myself, find myself on the floor. My hands on my head, my eyes closed shut cringing. A flashback. That's what it had been.

" Gaara? Gaara are you out of it? " Temari asked as she squatted down to look at my eyes.

" I can't erase the thing that I've done Temari. " I told her.

Temari had a look of surprise on her face.

" I've made my mistakes.."

Temari's face went into a expression of deep sadness and relilization.

" HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO ME!? " I screamed and put my head in my hands.

Temari reached out for me. I saw her for a second. She pulled back and then decided to do it anyway. She wrapped her arms around me and held me. I stiffened, but then I just let her hold me.

" I've made my mistakes.. I can't erase them.. How could this happen to me? " I mumbled.

" You've made your mistakes.. You can't erase them.. but you can make up for them, and you've already started. Your better now... Don't be mad at yourself anymore Gaara. "

" How could this happen to me? "

" It's what _happened_ to you. It's not who you are anymore. Your better now Gaara. Your not that same person. Your not that same blood crazy person. Your becoming better. "

" I can't erase what happened, but I have regret for everything I've done. I won't do it again. Any of it. I won't do it ever again. "

" I know you wont. "

" Gaara? Temari? " Kankuro asked as he suddenly walked in to the room Temari and Gaara were currently in.

" Kankuro? " Temari asked back.

" You guys okay? "

" Were both just fine. " Temari replied back smiling.

**Guess the song, request a song, read the chapter, REVIEW! (: Thanks! (: **


	6. Pain

Based on the **NARUTO** series.

**Disclaimer: See profile for the Anime Disclaimer**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the song! If I did I wouldn't be on fanfiction and would be probably making more songs and makin' money sheesh peeps..(: lol**

**I DIDN'T MAKE PROFIT OFF THIS FIC!**

**

* * *

**

!!!!!!!!!This Chapter has nothing to do with the last Chapter. If it does have anything to do with the last Chapter, then I will put so up here in this box. (: Thanks!!!!!!!

**_

* * *

  
_**

**Gaara's P.O.V**

I sat on the floor of my empty room. Just like I did every night when they all went to sleep. I sat criss-cross looking into the darkness. Just like I did every night when they all went to sleep. I hated these people so much. I hated everyone. I lived only for myself, I lived to kill others.

The Chunin Exams were coming up soon. All we had to do was look pretty though. We didn't have to worry about winning. If we accomplished our mission, this greedy village I lived in would graduate us Chunin right off the bat. These animals, if anyone was the monster, it was them. But some how it always turned out to be me.

I grunted in anger and snapped my head sharply to the side and looked at a different wall. The sand started to come out of the gourd that lay lazily against a different dark wall. It started to rise in angry motion.

Did I really care if I became a Chunin? No. Did I care about what this village wanted, which was succeeding in the ambush? No. What did I care about? The pain.

The pain I would inflict on others during these Exams. I heard it was a rough, bloody exam. How I loved pain. Pain, pain without love.

Pain, I couldn't ever get enough. Pain, I like it rough. I'd rather feel pain then nothing at all. The pain that always went in my heart. I hated it. But I would rather feel that hard pang of hurt in my heart then nothing at all.

All of these people who wanted peace. Wanted love. Wanted injustice. Wanted a world of laughter. What did I say?

It will never happen.

They say there sick of feeling numb. They're not the only one. I'd take them and show them a world that they can understand.

This life is filled with hurt, when happiness doesn't work, Will anyone trust a demon? Will anyone take me by my cold hand and let me show them? When the lights go out, they would understand.

Or would they? Would they come into the darkness? Relate to me? A demon? A monster? A smiled. But not a happy one. A crooked one. A snickered a little. WOULD THEY RELATE TO THE SHUKAKU?!

" Pain.." I whispered and ceased my smiling.

Pain, without love.

Pain, I can't get enough.

Pain, I like it rough.

I'd rather feel pain then nothing at all.

" Anger, and agony. It's better then misery. If only I could feel agony. More then just in my heart. If only I could feel what all they can feel. It would be so much better then the misery.."

Pain, without love. I've never felt love. Not truly.

Pain, I can't ever get enough!

Pain, I like it rough!

I'd rather feel pain then nothing at all...

" Gaara? " Temari asked from the other side of the door. " A-Are you alright? "

I didn't answer.

" G-Gaara? Can I come in? "

I didn't answer. I let the sand whip the door open forcefully and brashly.

I looked at her with a furious look.

" What. " I stated more then asked.

" I was just making sure everything was alright. We have training early with Baki and everything you know so.. I was just.. I guess I was just.."

I let the sand slam the door in her face. Thanks Shukaku.

" I can't sleep any way. " I whispered as I heard her sigh and walk away.

Pain. Such a funny word to me.

Pain.

Pain won't go away.

Pain, Without love.

Pain, I like it rough.

Pain, I can't ever get enough..

**Taking requests/Suggestions for songs! (: Okay! Read, Review, Guess the song, repeat! (: THANKS! (: **


	7. Enter Sandman

Based on the NARUTO series.

**Disclaimer: See profile for the Anime Disclaimer**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the song! If I did I wouldn't be on fanfiction and would be probably making more songs and makin' money sheesh peeps..(: lol**

**I DIDN'T MAKE PROFIT OFF THIS FIC!**

**

* * *

**

!!!!!!!!!This Chapter has nothing to do with the last Chapter. If it does have anything to do with the last Chapter, then I will put so up here in this box. (: Thanks!!!!!!!

**_

* * *

_**

**_ATTENTION!!!!!!!!!!!!_THIS CHAPTER IS BEST IF YOU LISTEN TO THE SONG THAT I USE! AFTER READING AND GUESSING THE SONG I USED, PLEASE READ AGAIN WITH THE SONG ON! THE BEGINNING IS THE BEST LIKE THAT ( WITH THE SONG ) YOU CAN USE YOUTUBE TO LISTEN TO IT! THANKS! (: **

**No one's P.O.V**

The sand whipped around wildly, it was in ribbons, lashing about him wildly. The look of blood lust in his eyes. It was like nothing anyone had ever seen before. The horrible stench of hate and anger filled the slowly darkening cold forest, sand whistled through the air and became more and more ferocious. Like a monster..

Gaara's eyes glared at the assassins his father most likely hired.

" You try to kill me? " Gaara asked coldly.

The men dropped there kunia knifes, knowing it would not protect them, they were goners. They shook and whimpered in fear.

" WELL HOW DOES THIS FEEL!? " Gaara screamed demonically.

The sand in cased there bodies without Gaara even moving a muscle, the sand went up, in there noses. They screamed for mercy until the sand entered there mouths.

" Let me feel alive.."

" AHHH!!!"

The blood began pouring down like rain. Falling lightly on the ground that the men had once stood on.

Gaara wore a sick smile and let the blood run down onto his shoe and splash onto the tips of his toes and settle there, on his shoes..on his toes..

He looked around.

" ANY MORE!? "

he smiled a sick smile and snickered which turned into a laugh. A sick..evil demonic..laugh.. one that rung about the forest..

* * *

" Say your prayers little one.." The father of a small of said as he leaned down next to his ear.

The child of only five lied in the bed, and looked at his father who was fully dressed in his assassins clothes. He knew what his father was going to do.

" Don't forget my son. " The father told the mother who came into the room suddenly.

" I tuck you in warm within.." The father whispered to his son. " Keep you free from sin.."

" Til' the sandman he comes.." The child told his father scared that his fathers life would end that night.

" Sleep with one eye open..gripping your pillow tight.."

* * *

"Exit light.." Kankuro whispered as he sat by the window.

" Enter night.." Temari whispered back as she stared at the full moon.

Gaara would be very.._monstrous_ tonight... she looked out and closed her eyes. It was so scary..almost drowning in fear..

* * *

" Somethings wrong! " An old woman screamed as she heard the sound of whistling..like sand in the air..

" Shut the light! " The old man yelled back.

The old woman flicked the light off and kept her mouth shut and she panted.

" Heavy thought tonight.." The old man whispered to himself and backed away to a wall as he slid down and closed his eyes.

" Dreams of war." The woman whispered.

" Dreams of lies. " The old man replied back.

" Dreams of dragons fire. "

" And of things that will bite.."

* * *

The man walked into the forest bravely. He jumped from tree to tree almost silently until he could see the ribbons of harsh sand, lashing around like bull-whips.

He stopped when he could see Gaara in the clearing. He threw a kunai knife..the same mistake the others had made.

" Sleep with one eye open.." Gaara whispered to himself as the sand instantly blocked an attack.

Gaara cracked a sadistic smile and laughed as the sand in cased this man too.

" Why bother!? Why accept my fathers orders if you know you will die.."

" Please! I have a son! A wife! "

" Family? Do not talk to me of family! "

" Please..please you MUST understand! I was only following orders! Please! "

" A son you say? "

" Y-yes! Yes! "

" How do you treat him? Do you pamper him!? You _love _him? "

" Very much so. "

" Exit light..ENTER NIGHT! "

The horrible cracking of bone made Gaara malicious smile only turn up harder.

He, or rather the sand, threw the man across the forest and let his back crack, snap, and break on a tree.

* * *

" Now I lay me down to sleep.." the old man recited with the old woman.

* * *

" now I lay me down to sleep.." The young boy recited with his mother. "

* * *

" Pray the lord my soul to take. "

* * *

" pray the lord my soul to take. "

* * *

" And if I die before I wake "

* * *

" And if I die before I wake. "

* * *

" pray the lord my soul to take "

* * *

" Pray the lord my soul to take. "

There was a loud noise and the little boy jumped slightly.

" Hush little baby don't say a word..."

* * *

" AHHH!!! I BEG OF YOU! "

" Beg!? You beg for mercy? Do not ask me of kindness...do not ask me for charity.."

The sand incased the man around his ankles.

" Exit light..enter night..."

" Oh please.."

" Grain of sand.."

* * *

" Exit light..Enter night.. he's the sandman.." Kankuro whispered very quietly.

" Yes. Yes he is.." Temari whispered also.

" I have to stop him. The screams..theres so many.." Baki whispered.

" No! Baki! There assassins.. let Gaara just kill them..they should know better.." Temari whispered.

" No..Gaara shouldn't kill the assassins..he should kill the Kazekage..the source.."

" W-What!? " Kankuro yelled appalled that Baki was actually suggesting that gaara should actually kill there father.

" YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE JUST LIKE I DO! "

Kankuro didn't say a word..

Yes. He knew it was true..

Temari didn't say a word..

Yes. She knew it was true..

* * *

The father cried as his dragged himself out of the forest..

Gaara..the demon..he had let him go.. he had let him go.. for what reason though?

The father didn't even know how he had found such a stroke of luck.

He dragged himself with his bare bloody hands out of the forest and all the way home.

He hit the door twice and passed out at the front door.

* * *

Baki ran through the trees, and the on top of them almost silent..just like the assassins had.

Baki stopped at the lashes of sand.. he stopped and looked down at Gaara. That little boy..that small tiny boy, was possessing such a powerful demon...that little boy..

He jumped down from the branch. The sand was calming down.

" I heard more screams then from just two assassins. Who else did you kill and where are they!? " Baki yelled.

" I only killed two..I let the other one go. "

" But..but why? You've never let an assassin go.."

" He said he had a little boy to take care of.. he said he had a wife and that his wife was the mother of his child..he said he was going to resign from this kind of work immediately.. I let him go. He needed to take of his.... _family_.."

" Gaara..you..you let him go because..he had a son? "

" Hn. "

" I'm..I'm proud of you Gaara.."

Gaara's eyes widened and he looked up at his sensei's eyes.

" What? "

" I'm proud of you, you let someone go because they had love for someone dear to them..."

Gaara gave him a curious look and then nodded his head as he let his arms fall down and he walked out of the forest with his back bent over greatly, his knees bent, and his feet slightly dragging.

_' He's only a boy wanting a family..a young boy..wanting...love..' _Baki thought to himself as he watched Gaara walking out of the forest.

Gaara fell a few feet later. Baki walked hurriedly over and picked Gaara up, letting the child wrap an arm around his neck first, he began walking out of the forest.

" Your letting me help you. "

Gaara didn't answer but instead kept his eyes to the ground. he was obviously in deep thought. or in deep conversation with the Shukaku...or a even _more_ disturbing thought..his mother..

Baki stood in front of Gaara's house. Temari and kankuro were no longer sitting by the window. He opened the door and turned a light on. He saw Temari and Kankuro standing in the middle talking.

Talking ceased as they looked at Gaara. baki was..was smiling..

Baki set Gaara down on the couch.

" there you go Gaara.." baki murmured.

" Had Gaara been hurt? " Temari asked.

" No. He's just a little..worn out..that's all. " Baki answered her and looked down at Gaara who was staring up at Baki, Temari, and kankuro.

" He'll be fine.." Baki assured them and smiled.

_' I'll be to Gaara what the Kazekage had never been..his father. ' _

**Read Review Request a song REPEAT TOMORROW! (: **


	8. Monster

Based on the NARUTO series.

**Disclaimer: See profile for the Anime Disclaimer**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the song! If I did I wouldn't be on fanfiction and would be probably making more songs and makin' money sheesh peeps..(: lol**

**I DIDN'T MAKE PROFIT OFF THIS FIC!**

**

* * *

**

!!!!!!!!!This Chapter has nothing to do with the last Chapter. If it does have anything to do with the last Chapter, then I will put so up here in this box. (: Thanks!!!!!!!

**_

* * *

_**

**_Gaara's P.O.V_**

I stood. I stood standing in the middle of the sandy field that Temari, Kankuro and, I were all stadning in with Baki. We were training for the Chunin exams that were coming up, but not only for that. The secret mission was going to be happening too. I crossed my arms and glared at all of them.

I was refusing to train. The Shukaku was acting up again. It was hard to keep control of sand when he was wanting to crush everyhting in sight, I was trying to train and I liked crushing everything too, the blood that would come out of humans and the cracks of there bones.. I loved it.. but right now, I was trying to train doing some complicated jutsu's and I didn't want Shukaku getting of hold of me and learning how to do those. Those were MY jutsus, not his to take away from me.

**' Let me take control! ' **

" Gaara? What're you doing? You need to be training too! "

I didn't answer but instead glared at him. he knew I wouldn't kill him. But was he right?

" Gaara! I want you practicing your control with the sand! "

**' Kill him boy..kill all of them..'**

I didn't answer but instead stayed the same.

" Gaara. This isn't a time to be testing your boundaries! "

I didn't answer but sand slowly started to rise.

Baki nodded thinking that I was starting to practice.

He was wrong.

**' That's right..kill him..kill him..'**

The sand went fast at him and grabbed him as I started to make a sand sphere with me and him in it. I would finish him off inside. Shukaku was starting to get into control but I mentally fought him for my rightful place.

" Gaara! Gaara what're you doing!? " Baki screamed as he struggled and tried to get out of my sands tight grip.

" Baki sensei! " Temari screamed.

" It's no use..he's a goner.." kankuro shook his head sadly.

The sand incased both of us fast. I left only a tiny hole that only a bee could get through for light, somehow that little hole lit up the entire inside of the sphere.

" Gaara! What're you doing boy?! " He yelled.

I grabbed my head suddenly. I didn't want to kill him?

" The secret side of me.." I started.

" What? "

" I never..let..you see.."

" Gaara? "

**' Little Gaara! It's shukaku, you know the demon inside of you.. I just was wonder.. WHAT THE HECK DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING!? KILL HIM!! ' **

" I keep it caged but I can't control it! "

" The shukaku? "

" The beast is ugly..I feel the rage and I just can't hold it! "

" Are you asking me what to do? Are you asking for..help? "

" It's scratchin' on the walls.. in the closet in the halls.."

**No ones P.O.V**

Baki stared in awe at Gaara. Maybe he just needed someone to open up to? Gaara kept his head down, looking at the bottom of the sphere instead of up at Baki.

" It comes awake and I can't control it! "

Baki looked at Gaara with a sad and sympathetic expression. For once in Baki's life, he showed how bad he felt for Gaara, this was the first time Gaara had ever told anyone about how it felt with Shukaku in him. Baki HAD to listen, he HAD to!

Gaara looked up at Baki with a very begging expression. Gaara? SHowing an expression other then hate, anger, blood lust, and then a blank one? Baki couldn't believe this.

" Why won't somebody come and save me from this? MAKE IT END! "

Gaara then grabbed Baki by the shoulders.

Gaara making human contact other then using sand to kill or talking about killing you? What was going on with this boy today!?

" I feel it deep within! It's just beneath skin! "

" Gaara.."

" I must confess that I feel like a monster! "

Gaara's eyes began to well up with tears that had been un-shed for five years, the last time he had ever cried was when he was six.. he hadn't cried yet though.. not yet.. he still hasn't cried in five years..

" I hate what I've become! The nightmares just begun! "

" You..you do Gaara? You hate what you've become? "

**' YOU LITTLE FOOL! ' **

" I feel like a monster! No..No, I am a monster.."

Baki looked at Gaara as his head went back down and looked at the bottom of the sand sphere again.

" The secret side I keep hidden under lock and key..I keep it caged but I can't control it.."

" You have to! "

" If I let him out, he'll tear me up and break me down.."

Baki knew what that meant, not only did it hurt Gaara physically when Shukaku came out, but it also would hurt him mentally.

" Why wont somebody come and save me from this!? MAKE IT END! "

" I wish..I wish I could Gaara.."

" I feel it deep within! It's just beneath skin! "

" I know.. "

" I hate what I've become..I feel like a monster.."

" I know.." Baki looked down as he said this, what was he supposed to do?

" It's hidin' in the dark, it's teeth are razor sharp.."

" I've seen it before.."

" There's no escape for me it want's my soul and my heart.."

" I know it does.."

" No one can hear me scream, maybe it's just a dream, OR MAYBE IT'S INSIDE OF ME! "

" It is..It's inside of you Gaara.."

" STOP THIS MONSTER! "

" I wish I could.."

" I feel it deep within..it's just beneath skin.."

" I'm gonna lose control.."

" I wont let that happen.."

" It's something radical.."

" What is? "

" To lose control..for him..to take over.."

Baki didn't say anything in return, he couldn't say he knew because he didn't.

" I feel like a monster.."

Gaara couldn't say that he hadn't cried in five years anymore. The un-shed tears fell down his face. baki looked up and Gaara looked at Baki.

" I hate what I've become. "

" it's your fathers fault, not yours. Your uncles too. "

" No.. no it's all mine.."

" No Gaara. "

Gaara didn't answer. he let the water hit the sand and make it wet. Where the water hit the sand, it fell out.

Gaara wiped the tears away.

Baki put a hand on his shoulder and Gaara looked up.

" Gaara? "

" Hn. "

" Resist him. "

" I can't.. I will forever be a monster.. " Gaara was now back to his cold voice. The sphere collapsed around as Gaara made.

The siblings almost fainted when they saw there sensei still alive.

" I feel like a monster.." Gaara whispered to himself.

**' Because you are you little fool, now get back to getting me some good blood..'**

_' Yes, shukaku..' _

**' Your a good boy Gaara.. such a good little boy..' **

_' I'm a good little boy..such a good little boy..'_

**' Will you do that ever again?' **

_' No shukaku! I'll be a good boy..I'll be a good boy..' _

**' Next time I tell you to kill someone, unless there's a good reason, YOU KILL THEM! ' **

_' Yes shukaku..I'm such a good boy..such a good boy..Next time..next time i'll rip them open and everything will come out..everything...and all of it will come spilling out..and i'll give all to you and mother..' _

**' Your a good boy Gaara..good boy..' **

_' Yes Shukaku, yes..yes..' _

**Read, Review, request/suggest a song, and REPAEAT TOMORROW! Thanks for reading! (: **


	9. Someone Who Cares

Based on the NARUTO series.

**Disclaimer: See profile for the Anime Disclaimer**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the song! If I did I wouldn't be on fanfiction and would be probably making more songs and makin' money sheesh peeps..(: lol**

**I DIDN'T MAKE PROFIT OFF THIS FIC!**

**

* * *

**

!!!!!!!!!This Chapter has nothing to do with the last Chapter. If it does have anything to do with the last Chapter, then I will put so up here in this box. (: Thanks!!!!!!!

**_

* * *

_**

**_Gaara's P.O.V_**

Every street in this city is the same for me. It was just another place where someone..my prey..a victim of my doings..had been killed.

I wasn't like that anymore though. not anymore. I had just come back to the Village hidden in the sand only a week or two ago and already I was acting more like a...human I guess you could say.

Not everyone thought that though.

Most thought that I was going to strike again. Everyone thought I was still a blood lusting demon.

Except for three people.

Kankuro, Temari and Baki knew that I wasn't like that anymore or was at least escaping from that dark, shrouded hole of blood and trauma.

But still everyone else..they didn't believe I was good..not yet anyway...

So, every street is the same for me, everyone's got a place to be but there's no room for me.

I kept my head low and tried to close my eyes as I heard people run away when i came walking down the street. I tried to just stay out of peoples way, but I knew I had to walk around and get used to this. be strong like Naruto was. I learned a lot from him.

If i'm to blame, when the guilt and shame hang over me like a dark cloud that chases you down in the pouring rain.. I felt so guilty to what I had done to these people. I had destroyed some of there families and some of there lives and the fear that I had striked into there heart. It was almost unbearabal to live with what I had done to these people. To know..I was truly a monster.

But not anymore.

I had changed and was still changing..I would be able to do it! Earn there trust and besides..not all of it was my fault, right? They had been scared of me when I had done nothing wrong..when I was five and had done nothing wrong! They were all scared of me..It was there fault I was like this!

Right?

It's so hard to find someone who cares about you!

I looked to the side and saw someone gasp and run in tears.

But it's easy enough to find someone who looks down on you..

" Demon! "

" Why don't you die you monster!? "

I heard them shout there hateful words at me. These were the only ones who tough enough to actually say things to me..words filled with hate and venom.

Why is it so hard to find someone who cares about you, when it's easy enough to find someone who looks down on you!?

" Why don't you die!? "

I ran now. I couldn't take it! There cry's of hate, there screeches of hurt and pain! I deserved it! I deserved it all.

It's not what it seems when your not on the scene! There's a chill in the air..

But there's people like me that nobody sees!

I thought of Naruto in my head and then shook it. People see him now..he was stronger then me when it came to this..life..

So nobody cares..

Why is it so hard to find people who care about you when it's easy enough to find people who look down on you!?

I ran until I found a place to climb up easy enough and jump on the roof. Then I started to descend across the roofs.

Why is it so hard to find someone who can keep it together when you've come undone? When _I've _come un-done!? Naruto could keep it together!

Why is it so hard to find someone who cares about you?

I thought of my father and all his hate..why wouldn't he love me?

I jumped across the roofs which I usually never did. I usually would let the sand carry me anywhere, but today? Today I needed the rage to come out and I was trying to not kill anyone.. I was trying so hard.. The gourd was so heavy on my back..

The cork popped out and I caught it in my hand, I let the sand encircle me but I tried to push it away. I let it wave around in the air right behind me as it followed.

I ran across each roof top and even smashed some crates that had been thrown up ontop, I crushed some chimneys with my bare hands and feet until I had finally let the rage out. I fell to my knees on a roof top far away from too many people and panted.

" i swear this time..this time it wont end up the same because now I've got myself to blame! "

I had to yell out..all the rage..so pent up..I released some of it..but even more was boiling inside of me.. too much of it! I had too much! What if I couldn't get it all out? Ever?

I realized just that moment that the roof I had been screaming on was my very own.

I sighed and jumped down from the roof as the sand caught me and lowered me down softer.

" Go away.." I whispered to it.

It stayed still for moment but then went and snatched the cork out of my hand hand and went inside the gourd, locking itself inside when the last bit entered.

I was about to walk away until it was sunset and the come back but just then I saw Baki.

" Gaara? Where have you been all day boy? " He asked and looked down at me.

I looked down at my feet.

" I was walking around..trying to get used to what I had did to the villagers and try..to fix it.."

" What're you talking about? "

" What they think I am! They know I'm a monster and treat me like it so I'm trying..trying to get used to it and ifx it..I'm not going to be that same person anymore..not anymore.." I spoke in my cold hard voice still. No emotion went on my words. Pure frozen words had exited my lips.

" Gaara.."

" And now I'm trying to figure out the answer to something.."

" What is it? "

" You wont be able to answer it. You wouldn't know.."

" I'm your sensei! I can answer a simple question Gaara, you don't give me enough credit sometimes.."

Gaara was silent for a minute.

" Why is it so hard to find someone who cares about you when it's so easy to find someone who will look down on you? "

It was now Baki's turn to be quiet. How did he answer a question like this?

" All my life this village has shown me nothing but resentment for my life..for me living and the air that I breath.. the very sand I walk on beneath my feet has been a hazard zone for all my life.. No one has ever cared for me..not for as long as I have ever lived.. what is the answer? Why is it so hard? Why? "

" Gaara, it isn't that hard.."

" Then why haven't I found he answer yet!? "

" Because you haven't thought about the question long enough! "

"" I've thought about it for two weeks straight.."

" Who are Temari and kankuro? "

" People. "

" Who are Temari and Kankuro? "

" My siblings.."

Who are temari and kankuro? "

" My older brother and older sister.."

" WHO are Temari and Kankuro!? Think about it! "

Gaara was silent for a long time. His eyes went from aggravation, to determination, to knowing the answer at last.

" People who care.."

" About who? "

" Me. "

" Who is Baki? "

" You. "

" Who is BAKI? "

" ..........Someone who cares.."

Baki nodded and gave a smile.

" Who is Gaara? " I asked him.

" My student. "

" WHo is Gaara? "

" My changed student. "

" Who is Gaara? "

"...someone who cares.."

" About who? "

" Temari and Kankuro..and....me? "

" Who is Gaara also? "

" A son to the Kazekage. "

" Who is Gaara also? "

".....A son...to...Baki...Me. "

**Read, Review, Suggest/Request a song, REPEAT TOMORROW! Thanks for reading! (: **


	10. I Want To Master Life And Death

Based on the NARUTO series.

**Disclaimer: See profile for the Anime Disclaimer**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the song! If I did I wouldn't be on fanfiction and would be probably making more songs and makin' money sheesh peeps..(: lol**

**I DIDN'T MAKE PROFIT OFF THIS FIC!**

**

* * *

**

!!!!!!!!!This Chapter has nothing to do with the last Chapter. If it does have anything to do with the last Chapter, then I will put so up here in this box. (: Thanks!!!!!!!

**_

* * *

_**

**No ones P.O.V**

The child of only eleven years old stood, silently, as his father glared daggers at him. The piercing eyes pf this little boy were one to die for if they weren't so cold.

" WHAT DID YOU DO GAARA!? WHAT DID YOU DO THIS TIME!? "

Gaara looked at his father with hate in his eyes and cracked a sick smile. THe smile that he gave after _'feeling alive' _

" I would do for you..what you did to me..." Gaara said coldly.

" What's that supposed to mean?! "

_' You shun me..you hate me...I would do for you nothing...because you had never done anything for me..' _Gaara thought.

His sick and blood lusting smile went into a look of death and he froze for a moment, the gourd strapped on his back remained in-tact, never leaving his body.

"..Even..kill..." Gaara said with the ice clung to his words.

" YOU..YOU KILLED!? YOU KILLED _ANOTHER_!? What are you becoming Gaara!? This is your hundredth kill but now you kill innocents!? Of our village?! " His father spat words of hate and disgust at his youngest child.

" I'm becoming exactly what you wanted me to become..a demon..a monster..But to you..I'm just a mirror...I mirror of what you want me to become..you look at me..and see yourself..I'm just a mirror.."

" Gaara your insane! "

" Sometimes..mirrors break don't they? And what does that bring? Bad luck.."

" WHAT DID YOU DO WITH THE PERSON YOU KILLED!? "

" You can't save her..you can't save her.."

" IT'S A **_HER_**!? "

" Mother..." Gaara whispered.

" Mother? She's been dead for a while...So you _didn't_ kill **another**...you didn't...thank god.."

_' Mother..like a ghost you slept in my bed...you came and said a lullaby to me..I know it...And I fell..while you tore through my neck and when I awoke you were already dead and gone..But those eyes..I'll never forget! I killed Father oh yes..I killed another.. BUT MOTHER TOLD ME TO! AND so did SHukaku..they both needed blood so badly..**I** needed blood so badly.._' Gaara thought to himself and began to glare even more at his father.

" Make your move.." Gaara whispered as his father began to leave the living room they were in currently.

" What? "

" Take your time.."

" Gaara what're you going on about!? "

" Every pawn threatens your life..your existence.."

" Go raise some hell in some other village Gaara.." His father replied in a tired voice.

His father put a hand on his head and moved it through his hair softly in a tired way.

_' No mercy is granted here...' _

" Gaara, did you kill someone? A woman? " His father asked.

" Everyday I kill someone..you just don't know it. "

" WHERE IS SHE!? "

" I don't care what you do to her...you'll never find her body.."

" GAARA! "

Gaara 's sand shot out from the gourd as Gaara began running as fast as he could out the door, face still cold as ice.

_' I ran like this before..When I was so young..after I had killed my own uncle..' _

" GAARA! WHERE..IS..SHE!? "

" I swear..I swear you won't find her body.." Gaara whispered as he kept on running, his father lacking behind as he tried to catch up.

" GAARA!!"

Gaara's footsteps scared every human being back into there home, into there hiding place, Into there shrouded hole from the demon of blood and sand.

The sand whipped around him like tails of a cat. Of a demon..

Gaara ran and stopped suddenly when he heard crying.

He looked to his side and took a step that way.

More crying..

He ran over to the weeping form and removed the arms from in front of the face of the woman.

" Let me feel alive.."

" NOO!! PLEASE! AHHH!!"

The blood that stained each partical of sand..each piece..each grain..it all held the same thing..sorrow..woe..tragedy.. a demons doings.

" In time..with the rain..from every season.. will wash the bones..down the river.."

The one he had killed earlier had been by a river, Gaara killed the woman instantly.

" And in time the rain from every season..will wash your flesh..and your corpse..it'll give me reason.."

Gaara looked down at the woman's dead and still form now.

_' A reason to live..to still be alive..to continue living..' _

" I swear..I swear..you wont find her body.. I swear to you ALL! "

The blood that went out from the womans mouth, made a stream down her cheek and made a stream to Gaara's shoe.

" Gaara! GAARA! YOU KILLED SOMEONE ELSE!? AN INNOCENT!? ANOTHER!? YOU CAN'T KEEP KILLING YOU _DEMON_! YOU..YOU _MONSTROSITY_! "

Gaara father, the Kazekage had finally caught up, a little out of breath but never the less, he had gotten there.

" Death is upon us all..in the shape of an angel.."

" Your insane Gaara..your insane.."

" Death is upon us all..but sometimes it just might hurt..Get over it. "

Gaara glared at his father and walked away with his feet making the only sound within miles as everyone else held there breath.

The father looked wide-eyed with slight fear at his youngest sons re-treating form. He shuffled his feet slowly as everyone was silent.

**OKAY! Read, Review, Repeat again TOMORROW! Oh and I'm kinda starting to run out of song to do so PLEASE PLEASE request/Suggest some songs! It would a lot of help and I could probably continue to update as fast I am now! (: THANKS! **


	11. From The Inside

Based on the NARUTO series.

**Disclaimer: See profile for the Anime Disclaimer**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the song! If I did I wouldn't be on fanfiction and would be probably making more songs and makin' money sheesh peeps..(: lol**

**I DIDN'T MAKE PROFIT OFF THIS FIC!**

**

* * *

**

!!!!!!!!!This Chapter has nothing to do with the last Chapter. If it does have anything to do with the last Chapter, then I will put so up here in this box. (: Thanks!!!!!!!

**_

* * *

_Gaara's P.O.V**

Oh Yashamaru..why would you do it? Why_ did_ you do it?

I stood looking over the still form on the rooftop. The still expression on his dead, cold face. When he was dead..even when he was completely dead, he had a look of hate. Hate for me.

" WHY YASHAMARU!? " I screamed and buried my face in my hands as I cried.

I sniffed once and got down on my knees. I sat there right next to him. I didn't want to kill him. No...No of course I didn't..I even expected him to wake up in a minute maybe...

Then something hit me..daddy sent him on me... why would...why would daddy want me dead? I thought..I thought daddy loved me..why did daddy want me dead? Was it because mother was dead? Was daddy mad at me for mother being dead?

" I don't know who to trust.." I whispered.

**' No surprise..' **

Who was that? I looked behind me but saw no one.. I shrugged it off and looked at Yashamaru again.

" Yashamaru..Everyone..they feel so far away from me.."

I continued clutching my heart like I had been for the last ten minutes that I had been next to my dead uncle.

**' Heavy thoughts sift through dust and the lies..' **

" Yashamaru..I'm so scared! " I yelled out and cried even more.

I couldn't help it..I had loved him...I had loved daddy...I had loved them...

Right?

Every time I tried to make myself get back up on my feet, I just fell down.. I didn't want to leave him..

* * *

**Current Gaara's P.O.V ( Three weeks after Gaara VS Naruto battle ) **

All I ever think about is this...and all the tiring time between..

Yashamaru..

* * *

**Past Gaara's P.O.V **

" Trying to put my trust into you..takes so much out of me..." I whispered a quote I had heard one of the villagers husbands say to there wife one time...before they ran away from me...the monster..

" TAKE EVERYTHING FROM THE INSIDE AND THROW IT ALL AWAY YASHAMARU! " I screamed in a moment of rage.

The sand began to stir and then lashed out and went behind me quickly.

" GO AWAY! " I screamed at it. " GO AWAY! I HATE YOU! " I screamed at it.

It went back down and I cried again and looked at Yashamaru.

" This is the last time..I wont trust myself with you ever again.."

Tension was building slowly inside of me... I could feel it...

" Everyone feels so far away from me Yashamaru.." I whispered. " heavy thoughts..there forcing there way out of me.."

" I'm trying not to break..but I'm so tired of this..this..." I stuttered and looked at my hands. My monster..demon hands..

**' Deceit. ' **

I looked around again. Who was talking to me?

" W-Where are you? "

**' Inside. ' **

I let out a short scream and then put a hand on my mouth and closed my eyes. Inside of me? I felt the tears hit my hands. I let out a loud breath of air and then began to look at Yashamaru again.

" Yashamaru? I'm so scared.."

I tried getting to my feet again..but every time I try to make myself get back on my feet..I just fell..

* * *

**Current Gaara's P.O.V**

All I ever think about is this...

All the tiring time between..

Putting my trust in you..was the worst thing I had ever done..

* * *

**Past Gaara's P.O.V**

" Take everything inside...and throw it all away..I swear for the last time...I wont trust myself with you.."

I looked at Yashamru with his closed eyes and the blood then continued to fall out through his mouth.

" I wont waste myself on you.."

I looked at the man I now despised. I wiped my tears away and let my face go into one that was as cold as ice, as hard as a rock, as emotionless as dirt and I let my feet slightly shuffle against the ground as I walked away from the dead body. No more was I little boy Gaara..

I was

**' Gaara of the sand..holder of Shukaku. The one who loves only his self. ' **

* * *

_OKAY! Read, Review, suggest/request a song and REPEAT TOMORROW! Thanks for reading and please review! (: _


	12. Cry

Based on the NARUTO series.

**Disclaimer: See profile for the Anime Disclaimer**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the song! If I did I wouldn't be on fanfiction and would be probably making more songs and makin' money sheesh peeps..(: lol **

**I DIDN'T MAKE PROFIT OFF THIS FIC! **

**

* * *

**

_!!!!!!!!!This Chapter has nothing to do with the last Chapter. If it does have anything to do with the last Chapter, then I will put so up here in this box. (: Thanks!!!!!!!_

**

* * *

**

**Gaara's P.O.V**

Once again in my dark room, my dark empty room on the floor. The four walls were the only thing I looked at, I closed my eyes and breathed in the scent of nothingness, just waiting.._waiting_ for the chance to kill someone. If anyone dared to enter this room, they would die.

The Shukaku..it was waiting..waiting to come out and destroy everyone, and take the blood of every human being on this earth....just around the corner...it was waiting just around the corner in the dark..in the shadows...it was right beneath the surface..right in my core...right...

here...

" I have seen peace.."

My eyes snapped open as soon as I heard that voice. It wasn't Temari or that fool Kankuro...no...it was someone else...it was a familiar voice. I looked around but I didn't see anyone. My eeys swept the entire room. No one...no one a all...

" I have seen pain.."

I looked around again..this time I did see someone...

Yashamaru...it was a blurry beige apperance of him, but still I saw him.

"...resting on the shoulders of your name. "

" Go away.." I warned him.

I hated him. I hated him with ever fiber in my body, if I could take everyone's hate, despair, and grief in the world and add it all together, it still wouldn't be able to measure the amount of loathing I had for him.

" Do you see the truth through all their lies, Gaara? "

" Go _away_..."

" Do you see the world through troubled eyes? "

I was silent for a minute. " Go.._away!_ "

He gave a hurt look and took a step forward, I scootched an inch back just to make him angry.

" And if you want to talk about it anymore..lie here on the floor..and cry on my shoulder..I'm a friend. "

" Your not a friend...your someone who I'd like to kill all over again until you would _really_ feel all the pain and scream and then get my fill on blood..."

he turned his head away and closed his misty eyes. He turned to me again and began to talk again.

" I have seen birth...I have seen death..at the same time Gaara... "

" That's why you tried to _kill_ me! " I screamed in a demonic voice. I would even admit that.

He was talking about my mother. Talking about how she died and I was born..Well when **he** died..that's when I had **_really _**born, that the exact moment I was given a meaning of existence.

" No! " He stubbornly shot my answer down.

" You _told_ me so! "

He was silent knowing this was all true.

" I..I'm sorry Gaara.."

" No..your not..."

He took a step forward yet again and I scootched an inch backwards.

" I lived to see a lovers final breath..."

" I don't care. "

" Do you see my guilt? "

" No. "

" Should I feel a fright? "

I didn't answer this one. He wasn't even real...

" is the fire of hesitation..burning bright? "

I looked at him and then looked down..Yashamru...

" And if you want to talk about it once more..on you I depend..I'll cry on your shoulder..your a friend.."

" No, I'm not your friend if anything I'm yourenemy.."

" You and I have lived through many things.." Yashamaru tried to persuade me.

Too bad it wasn't working.

" Like your _death_. "

He looked at me with a look of pain and came closer I glared at him, hoping he would back off which he didn't, he came closer and put his hand through my chest.

" I'll hold onto your heart. I wouldn't cry for anything..."

" Get away from me! "

" Don't go tearing your life apart Gaara.."

" _**I**_ don't have to.._**you**_ did that for me remember? "

He just looked at me with all the pain and sadness he could muster. That didn't matter to me, he could cry all he wanted, I would just feed off his misery..

" I have seen fear..I have seen faith..."

I waited for him to speak more, my face only going from angry to even angrier.

" I have seen a look of anger..on your face. "

" I hate you just like how I hate eveyone else, don't think any other way. "

"And if you want to talk about what will be, Come and sit with me, and cry on my shoulder, I'm a friend..."

" No..."

" if you want to talk about it anymore..."

"....no..."

"Lie here on the floor and cry on my shoulder, Once again..."

" Yashamru.."

"Cry on my shoulder.."

I looked at him and tried to grab onto him by the arm.. I tried to hold onto him but each time he just dissapeared and then when I tried to put my head on his shoulder, he dissaperead completley..the truth was..I still wanted him right here next to me as my uncle..even after he tried to kill me..I couldn't take it.

_I broke. _

" I'm a friend.." He whispered and the last thing I saw was his face pop up and him smile a crooked smile..it was trick. A trick was all it was..

" YASHAMRU! " I screamed out, but he was gone. I looked frantically around the room for any trace of him.

There wasn't one.

I should of known better...he was only torturing me..

" Yashamaru..." I whispered and fell onto the floor in a heap..oh Yashamaru..why do you do this to me?

He knew just how to torture me. If he couldn't hurt me physically, he would just have to injure me mentally..even when he was dead.

**' You don't need him boy. You've got me. ' **

I guess thats all I needed in life, right? Shukaku. Shukaku was the _only _one who needed_ me_ and Shukaku was the only one who _I_ needed.

Right?

_Sorry I haven't updated in a long time. Well anyway, Read, Review, Suggest a song, Repeat tomorrow!! (: Thanks for reading! (: _


	13. Tears And Rain

Based on the NARUTO series.

**Disclaimer: See profile for the Anime Disclaimer**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the song! If I did I wouldn't be on fanfiction and would be probably making more songs and makin' money sheesh peeps..(: lol**

**I DIDN'T MAKE PROFIT OFF THIS FIC!**

**

* * *

**

_!!!!!!!!!This Chapter has nothing to do with the last Chapter. If it does have anything to do with the last Chapter, then I will put so up here in this box. (: Thanks!!!!!!!_

**

* * *

**

**Gaara's P.O.V**

Slowly I walked the streets of the Sand Village, shuffling my feet below me as looks of terror were placed on peoples faces. This only brought me joy, this only brought me happiness. It only brought me pleasure. To see them so scared of me was like a child getting a new shiny toy. Blood was like a child getting to open up presents on there birthday to me.

Some call it sick, _I_ call it pleasure and happiness.

What people didn't understand though was how miserable I was. I hated living this life. I hated being in this form. I hated all of this. I wished for a lot of things.

How I wish I could just surrender my soul and shed the clothes that become my skin. I wish i could start all over and not be born a demon, a monster. But I know what I was put on earth for. I know it good enough by now. My meaning..my existence was to simply

_Kill. _

I wish I could see the liar that burns within my needing, the Shukaku, I wish I could see his face, right now here in front of me. But I couldn't. I wish I had chosen darkness form cold, some called me dark, it was more then just darkness, it was _freezing cold_ darkness.

How I wish I had screamed out loud instead I've found no meaning..I've found no better meaning to live other then to kill.

I guess it was time I run far far away because my legs were running and I didn't even notice it until I heard the screaming of the guards at the gate. I ran out in the desert. I guess it was time I found comfort in pain, all pleasures the same, just keeps me from trouble in my own mental mind.

I felt myself stop running once I had gotten to where the desert begun to become a thin forest.

_' Only one thing mends a broken heart Gaara, and that's love. ' _

I screamed out in pain and clutched my head as I fell to my knees, my knees getting slightly buried in the little bit of sand left. I hunched over and held onto the side of my head, grasping my hair in my clenched fist.

" What have I become? " I asked myself for the first time in a long time.

I realized that maybe what I have become, is not the thing I should be. But it had to be! I was born a monster, raised a monster, I _**AM **_a monster!

Right?

I've heard what they say! The people of the Sand call me a monster themselves! It's more then just words..sometimes they try to attack me! They treat me like a monster! I have to be a monster! It's the only possible answer.

I felt a sudden drop of water hit the back of my neck. I gasped slightly and looked up. I could see little diamonds fall from the sky. Little twinkiling diamons fall straight from the clouds.

Rain.

It didn't happen here often. Rain. I looked at rain as my own personal cleaner for the blood stains on the ground of my doing. I looked down at the ground and closed my eyes. When I opened them again there was a tiny circular shaped wet spot right on the sand and it wasn't from the rain. It was from my..my tears..

It's just tears and rain.

How I wish I could walk through the doors of my mind. I wish I could understand my own self. But I think I ever could.

I gripped my head again as another memory came close. Hold memories close at hand..it helps me understand the years of pain, about how everyone hates me even myself.

How I wish I could choose between heaven and hell. I already knew which one I was going to.

How I wish I would save my soul. But I wouldn't because I knew what my meaning of existence was and as long as I, Gaara, lived I would have to fulfill it because if I had no meaning, what was the point in existing?

And I'm just so cold..not from the rain, not from my cry, not from the wind, but from fear. I was fearful of myself and what I would do to myself. SOmetimes I feared what I would do, what Shukaku would make me do, I was always cold from fear.

Find comfort in pain..it's all just tears and pain.

Just find comfort in pain and my pleasure works the same. I find both comfort and pleasure both in the sick act of causing pain on others.

I began my walk back to the village, just tears and rain was all that had to stop and both did. I folded my arms and put my cold, frozen face back on. I wouldn;t question my meaning again, I wouldn;t question what I was ever again, I was what I was and I was a monster.

Some call it sick to kill, some call it disturbing, some call it useless, some call it disgusting, some call it despicable, **_I_** call it my meaning for existence.

_**Okay! Read, Review, Suggest/Request a song and then do the same TOMORROW! Please suggest any songs you think might be good for a Gaara chapter! I am taking suggestions! (: (: (: Thanks! **_


	14. Composure

Based on the NARUTO series.

**Disclaimer: See profile for the Anime Disclaimer**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the song! If I did I wouldn't be on fanfiction and would be probably making more songs and makin' money sheesh peeps..(: lol**

**I DIDN'T MAKE PROFIT OFF THIS FIC!**

**

* * *

**

_!!!!!!!!!This Chapter has nothing to do with the last Chapter. If it does have anything to do with the last Chapter, then I will put so up here in this box. (: Thanks!!!!!!!_

**

* * *

**

Gaara was on the rooftop again. But what else could he do? he couldn't sleep, he couldn't dream, he couldn't do anything except sit on the roof and wait for morning to come. And all he could do while up there is think.

" Shake it off..pick yourself up they say.." Gaara mumbled to himself.

He couldn't get over it. So many peoples lives he had jeapordized. So many peoples blood shed from his simple aggervation. So many he had made cry from being a demon. So many people he frightened with nothing but the rythm of his feet touching the ground.

" Your life came apart in your hands, and you got the scars to prove it.." Gaara whispered again to himself.

He put a hand to his heart and clutched it tightly without even noticing.

" It's not that first time..and they've gotten so much deeper.."

His voice was cracking as much as pencials breaking. A single drop of salt water came rushing out of his eyes and he put his head down in disgrace.

" Pull it together. " He told himself and picked his head up again. " Pull it together.."

He stood up shakily on his feet and rolled down his sleeves quickly as a gust of wind came by.

**'More and more my demeanor looks like quicksand..' **Shukaku told him inside his head.

Gaara tried to shake him out of his mind but he could still feel him lurking in there.

**' It seems like your giving up on everything you worked for Gaara..it's pulling you under..it's gripping around your throat..' **

" Life can be overwhelming..but I can handle it.." Gaara told himself, confidence in his voice. " Don't turn you back on the strongest crutch you've ever had..

Gaara stood, looking ouot at the miles of sand and houses made of sand.

" they've always been there to brace my fall.." Gaara said in realization.

_' Wave good bye to the past..I've got my whole life to lead! ' _Gaara thought to himself.

"It's time to gain some ground. " Gaara whispered as the sun rose beautifully in the sky like something was burning brightly.

As Gaara began to return inside the house, he couldn't help but think.

_' I've counted the bodies..I've counted the blood..I've counted the sacrifices..I've counted the sorrow..I will make up for each aspect..that is my new meaning..my new meaning for life. ' _

**Okay! A little short but I still thought it was a pretty nice little shot, right!? lol! Well, Read, Review, Guess the song, Suggest a song, and do it all over again tomorrow! Thanks! (: **


	15. The Kill

Based on the NARUTO series.

**Disclaimer: See profile for the Anime Disclaimer**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the song! If I did I wouldn't be on fanfiction and would be probably making more songs and makin' money sheesh peeps..(: lol**

**I DIDN'T MAKE PROFIT OFF THIS FIC!**

* * *

_!!!!!!!!!This Chapter has nothing to do with the last Chapter. If it does have anything to do with the last Chapter, then I will put so up here in this box.(:_

_Thanks!!!!!!!_

_

* * *

_

Gaara looked at the enemy with blood thirst eyes and a sick grin on his face, half shukaku half the boy demon he naturally was.

The other boy looked at Gaara with a look of determination, not of blood thirst or blood lust, not of a killing want or need, just a look of needing to save someone he loved dearly. Someone he held precious to him. A sentiment Gaara would perhaps never understand.

Gaara's smile faded, he looked deep into those blue orbs, he couldn't see fear anywhere. Not for him anyway. No, he feared only of his friends dying, not of what Gaara might do to him. This just simply wasn't normal.

Gaara gave a confused look and tried to look deeper. He tried to look deeper and deeper, but saw no fear of death, not for himself anyway. He saw no quivering hope in those eyes, just a look of sheer will power to do anything.

Maybe he just had a hard expression to read?

No, it was there clear as day, he wasn't scared. Not at all.

A wash and look of hurt washed over Gaara, it was a small amount, there was barely enough for even someone with the sharpest eye to detect.

_' What if I wanted to break? ' _Gaara thought to himself suddenly. _' Would Temari,..would Kankuro..be there for me? ' _

Gaara shook the thoughts out of his head, what was he thinking about that for?

" So Gaara! What're you gonna do when I beat you! Huh!? " Naruto screamed.

Gaara snorted and then gave him a sick smile of death pleasure.

" Laugh it all off in your cold dead face..you will _never_ beat me **_Uzumaki_**! " Gaara screamed defiantly.

Gaara gasped out as clutched his chest and coughed once.

_' What if I fell to the floor? ' _Gaara thought to himself as he continued falling through the trees at top speed.

he felt his back being torn apart by the many hard branches.

_' Couldn't take this anymore..what would you do? What would you do...' _

Gaara layed on the floor with him being everything but fine. He looked up at the sky, not turning his head, not showing any expression.

" What do you say _now _Gaara!? " Naruto screamed triumphantly.

Gaara closed his eyes and then opened them again as a gust of air past over him.

" I say...come break me down...bury me..just bury me...I'm finished with you..I'm finished. "

Naruto found nothing to say, he looked at him and took a step forward, unsure of what was happening.

Gaara turned his head to look at him with no emotion written on his face. Not one of defeat, not one of sadness, not one of embarrasment, just a face of no words..

" What if I wanted to fight?! " Naruto yelled out of sudden outburst.

he knew he would never do that, but he just had to say it..just had too..

" What if I begged for the rest of my life? What would you do.." Gaara asked him with not a single hint to what he was feeling at the moment.

Naruto stood there looking down at him, unsure of what to say. Unsure of what to do. he looked at the boy of sand. Naruto closed his eyes and looked away.

" You say you wanted more..What are you waiting for? I'm not running from you. Kill me. Kill me now. " Gaara told him demandingly, but only out of not being able to comprehend how Naruto hadn't already finished the job with him.

" No..I can't do it..even if you did put my friends in danger..even if you hurt them..I wont kill you. " Naruto murmured.

Gaara looked at him and opened his mouth a little in surprise. Finally an emotion.

Surprised.

" Come break me down, bury me! Bury me! I'm finished with you, look in my eyes Uzumaki! Your killing me by not finishing the job! "

" No! You can change..I know you can. "

" You can't change a monster. Kill me. Put everyone out of there misery before I change my mind! "

"...No. "

Gaara glared at him with those icy blue eyes and the hot firey blue eyes met his in the same glare, both agreeing to disagree.

Gaara's expression softened and he turned his head to look up at the sky, he looked at each cloud going by.

" I tried to be someone else, but nothing seemed to change. I know now..this is who I really am inside...I finally found myself. I've just been fighitng for a chance..I know now this is who I really am. " Gaara told him.

" No, I know your someone else. "

" I'm a demon! "

" I AM TOO!...but that doesn't mean you have to act like it on the outside! "

" Break me down..bury me. "

" I wont do it. "

Gaara looked at him with his dagger driven eyes.

He closed them once and looked away.

Kankuro and Temari jumped down from the forest suddenly, stepping in front of Gaara's limp body.

" It's over. " Gaara told them softly.

" But Gaara.." Kankuro murmured.

Gaara gave him a look of how serious he was about this for a long time, the silence of there mental conversation was stifiling.

" Okay Gaara. " kankuro murmured as he picked him up.

Temari took a step back and they left.

Gaara looked out at the oncoming forest..

_' Maybe even I could..I could..change...I was not finished off for a reason..Maybe even perhaps I could..' _

" Temari..Kankuro.." Gaara whispered.

" Huh? "

" I'm sorry.."

Both older siblings exchanged a look of astonishment and Kankuro tightened his grip around his younger brothers body.

" Don't _worry_ about it. " Kankuro assured him.

" I know now..this is who I really am inside..." Gaara whispered almost silently.

_' he broke me down..but he doesn' know it...he buried the old me...I'm not running away..' _

**Read, Review, Guess the Song, Request/Suggest a song, REPEAT TOMORROW! (: SOrry that updates have been not coming on time, just been busy! (: **


	16. Survive

Based on the NARUTO series.

**Disclaimer: See profile for the Anime Disclaimer**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the song! If I did I wouldn't be on fanfiction and would be probably making more songs and makin' money sheesh peeps..(: lol**

**I DIDN'T MAKE PROFIT OFF THIS FIC! **

* * *

!This Chapter has nothing to do with the last Chapter. If it does have anything to do with the last Chapter, then I will put so up here in this box. (: Thanks!

* * *

I want to thank everyone who has suggested so many songs to me and reviewed so many times! You guys are awesome!

* * *

**_Gaara's P.O.V-His thoughts_**

Now that the entire Chunin Exams incident had passed by and I had made myself much more..invisible compared to the crowd of bustling people, it seemed that everything was unnecessary.

Yes, I had found better reason for living, but when I passed through a crowd, some stared, some didn't, some whispered, some kept quiet..some didn't even notice me at all. That was what usually happened.

Either no one noticed me, or everyone noticed me and would whisper amongst themselves.

Some times I felt so alone in a million crowd..like an outsider..just wandering alone without any words to say. That's why I was usually so happy when Temari and Kankuro came with me anywhere now. Even though I would never in a million years admit that..

But even they can't explain the desire to overcome the pain to people when they would shroud themselves in the shadows or take their children by the hand when they saw me.

I can feel the breath that's always getting away..the breath I want to use to explain so badly to people that I'm not a monster!

But I know that I'll survive. I'll survive this nothing leading nowhere. This purpose was just all leading to nowhere..And I feel stronger when I think about how I have changed but I'll survive, feeling stronger for how much longer?

That voice inside of me that just keeps on teasing. His voice as sweet as like a whisper from the lips of pain..Shukaku..always trying to make come back to him, give in and break..but I'll survive..

But there's just so many steps that I can't take..and I just can't take the chance of trying to do good without being mistaken for doing bad.

Am I dreaming it all? All that has happened? Am I just dreaming it all? All about Shukaku? Am I a normal boy? Just stuck in a nightmare?

But I will never be afraid..

I'll survive..I know will, Naruto gave me so much strength..but feeling stronger for how much longer?

**Gaara's P.O.V-His Actions**

I stood and looked out the window of the many people, squinting at them menacingly. Why could they not understand me? Temari came walking by me and stopped at the door, she looked over at me with deep curiosity.

" Gaara? Do you want to come with me to the market? We need to get some potatoes and broth for dinner tonight. " She asked with a small smile, eyes closed and a small blush on her cheeks.

I squinted at her and then loosened my mean look, changing into one of a black stare.

" Are..are you serious? " I asked a little taken back to be honest.

" If you don't want to go, that's okay.." She replied while losing the smile and looking a little nervous.

" No..I mean..about me going..are you really asking me..to..go with you? " I asked blankly.

" Well..yeah. "

I took a step forward and looked towards the door, she looked at me.

" Hn."

She made a noise that sounded some-what like 'Oh' in surprise and then smiled, she opened the door walked out, me tagging along with her.

As we passed through the crowd, I didn't feel so alone anymore.

Some people stared but I saw them easily stop as Temari turned towards them, defending me?

I guess, I wouldn't have to survive, I would just live..

**I know, long time no update! (: Please guess the song, make a suggestion for a song for me to use and then REPEAT TOMORROW! (: **


	17. I will Survive

Based on the NARUTO series.

**Disclaimer: See profile for the Anime Disclaimer**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the song! If I did I wouldn't be on fanfiction and would be probably making more songs and makin' money sheesh peeps..(: lol**

**I DIDN'T MAKE PROFIT OFF THIS FIC! **

* * *

!This Chapter has nothing to do with the last Chapter. If it does have anything to do with the last Chapter, then I will put so up here in this box. (: Thanks!

* * *

I want to thank everyone who has suggested so many songs to me and reviewed so many times! You guys are awesome!

* * *

Gaara clenched his fists and stood on the grave, fingers clenching the gravestone tightly until his knuckles turned white in pure strength. His hair, picked up by the wind, flew around his face giving the perfect image of hate and anguish. His face was written in pure hatred, he mouth was riddled in a disturbed taste.

He opened his mouth and shook slightly. Feet almost giving out on him as his vision was almost bolurred by the anger in his cold broken heart. He read the words over and over..

_'Yashamaru..R.I.P...' _The sand emblem shone proudly at the top as more words were etched from the middle to the very bottom.

_'Yashamaru, a great friend, a fantastic brother-in-law. Here by lies his remains, suffering a tragic death, he now lies in an eternal resting place where he shall forever be peaceful.' _

Gaara grunted and looked sunk to his knees in the dirt, hunched over in pure hatred.

"..At first I was afraid..I was petrified..when you tried to kill me..I didn't know why you would do it,"

**'Gaara, your being a baby, get up and act like a man! If it makes you feel better, kill someone. I wouldn't mind having some blood you know..and the good kind, not the bad kind..nasty devils those squirrels are ya' know.' **

Gaara tried to ignore the the voice in his head and continued. "I kept thinking I could never live without you by my side, kind of like how I did father. But then I spent so many nights thinking about how you did me wrong. Just like father did..and I grew strong. And I learned how to get along with Shukaku. And so you know he's back, seems like I'm always in outer space on my own world.."

Gaara put a hand in the dirt as if he were touching the man who was quite a number of feet below his very hand.

"And then, when you were dead, I walked by you to find you with a sad look on your face. I should have changed that lock on my door, I should have made father leave his key, I can't tell you how many times father came in to bother me about how I supposedly killed you! I would tell him 'Go, now! Walk out the door! Just turn around, your not welcome anymore!' And why should I feel bad about your death?"

"Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye? Did you think that I would crumble? Did you think that I would lay down and die? Oh no, not I! I will survive! Oh as long as I know how to hate, I know I will survive! I've got all my life to live, and all my death to give, and I'll survive,..I will survive!"

"It took all the strength I had not to fall apart..Keep trying to mend the pieces of my broken heart.." He snatched the dirt filled hand up to his chest and grabbed at his heart, breathing heavy with slowly increasing stress and hate.

"And I spent so many nights feeling sorry for myself. I used to cry, I used to feel sorry for myself, and I felt like I never belonged but now I hold my head up high. And then you see me, somebody new! I'm not that chained up little person that used to love you. So you felt like dropping in, and just expect me to let you go ahead kill me, but you must of knew that you would just die too. But now I'm saving all my love for someone who loves me, and that only person would be me myself!"

"Did you think that I would crumble? Did you think that I would lay down and die? No..not I..because I have all my hate to give..so you know that I must survive...I will survive."

**'That's a good boy Gaara..now if only he were still alive..you could kill him once more..he's the best blood I've ever gotten you know..' **

Gaara clenched his teeth together and pryed himself from the grave as he stormed back to his own household's roof. Never would he die, he had too much to kill, too much to hate, and he would always survive while there was someone else alive on the planet.

_Please review and suggest songs! If I haven't used a song you have suggested before, please review it and state it again! Yep so, guess the song, suggest the song, and then wait until I update once more for you to (hopefully) read! :)_


	18. Chapter 18

Based on the NARUTO series.

**Disclaimer: See profile for the Anime Disclaimer**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the song! If I did I wouldn't be on fanfiction and would be probably making more songs and makin' money sheesh peeps..(: lol**

**I DIDN'T MAKE PROFIT OFF THIS FIC! **

* * *

!This Chapter has nothing to do with the last Chapter. If it does have anything to do with the last Chapter, then I will put so up here in this box. (: Thanks!

* * *

I want to thank everyone who has suggested so many songs to me and reviewed so many times! You guys are awesome!

* * *

I walked down a lonely road, no life was visible in my sight which would most likely be a good thing for any life at all, I would kill it if it was in my eyesight anyway.

I had to get away from the populated bustling town where everyone seemed to stop everything they were doing just to pay mind to me. It was just like Suana, no different at all.

People knew of my powers here and deemed me a freak just as well. Shukaku, coaxing me into thinking it to be a good thing, finally gave up the pep talk had gotten angry enough to leave me alone.

So having nothing else but time I left the dreaded hotel and began to walk through the outskirts of town until I had gotten to a lonely and deserted trail. It was the only one I had ever known anyway, a lonely road..

I didn't know where it went but I decided it was better then having to stay so close to humanity.

Out here in the emptiness, I felt as though it was only me even though Shukaku rested within me, dormant only for now.

It wasn't completley unfamiliar though, I had walked down the same trail before. When the city sleeps and I'm the only one, I've walked down before, but never have I gotten to the very end.

I knew that somewhere in my head Shukaku would pop up soon and begin to rage, yelling dominantly for blood, for pain, for the fear written on their poor sad little face. And I would give in, I would crush them with my sand until they imploded, and blood rained from the skies.

But for now my shadows the only one that walks beside me, and my _shallow _heart is the only thing beating.

**'Gaara.' **

My breath hitched in my throat as I opened my eyes, realizing I had been almost meditating in the middle of the dirt path.

**'What're you doing out here? Unless your finding me crimson..' **

Crimson, that's what he called it. As if he were speaking in code when no one else but I could hear him.

**'Sweet Boy..I demand to know why you are out here all alone when there are so many people to kill. I am thirsty, and I don't wish to be.' **

_'You are being impulsive. Must I be the one to remind you of the operation?' _

It was silent for a minute between us two as I began to walk again.

**'You think your smart boy but I don't believe I'm the only one whose thirsty.' **

_'What?' _

**'Look down.' **

I swallowed, almost terrified to look down but I did as I was told by him. He was my savior after all..my only friend..._only _friend..

My hands shook almost out of socket as I felt the pounding in my head begin. I drew in a sharp breath and looked around frantically.

_'Kill..I have to kill. Your right, I must kill. Human blood, good blood.' _

**'Now, now child. Have you forgotten of our operation? There will be a whole city of blood shed! Save your thirst, embrace the thirst because when the blood begins to rain, it will pour. I assure you.' **

I looked down at my hands that no longer shook. I sighed as the pounding resided and I could finally sink to my knees as the agony freed its hands from around my head.

I looked out at the trees that grew up around the trail in sparse patches as though they be a family.

_'Sometimes I wish that someone would find me..' _

It was silent but I could feel the Shukaku stir within my brain, every so often he would re-situate himself within my body.

**'No child, no. They would only hurt you. Have you forgoten Yashamaru?' **

I clutched my head and swallowed as the pain began to flood in. Images flashing by my eyes.

_'No. No of course not, your right Shukaku. Of course, and mother, and father. They've all hurt me. They would only do it again.' _

**'Precisely..' **

I stood once again and looked down the path that was beginning to darken as the sun began to set under the horizon. That's when I realised I walking down the line that divides me somewhere in my mind.

And I walk down it alone, like I should.

On the borderline of the end and I walk down it, alone, Shukaku only by my side.

**Okay! SO guess the song, review the answer and request/suggest a song for me to do, and then repeat again TOMORROW! :D Thanks! **


End file.
